You Are Allowed
Most people are aware of the Magna Carta* signed by King John at Runnymede, under duress from the Barons and Nobility (ironically, mostly descendants of the Norman French), which we regard as the foundational Charter of Great Britain.
I came across the following American “Bill of Rights for the Bereaved” and converted it to a “Charter”.
Charter for the Bereaved
When you are in a loving relationship with a friend, parent, partner, or child you risk being called upon to pay “The Price of Love”. It is normal that one of you would experience grief and bereavement at the ending of that relationship. Unfortunately it has fallen to you, and it is far from easy. So,
You are allowed…
1. To experience your very own grief.
2. To talk about your grief.
3. To feel a multitude of emotions.
4. To determine your physical and emotional limits.
5. To experience grief attacks.
6. To choose the kind of ritual(s) you would like, or none at all if you prefer.
7. To express your own form of spirituality or faith.
8. To search for reasons that work for you.
9. To treasure your memories of the person you loved.
10. To take your time to grieve.
11. To laugh and be happy when you are ready to do so.
12. To go through all, or none, of the “stages” of grief in any order.
Bereavement has no rules or requirements, and no time limits.
Adapted from Alan Wolfet’s “Mourner’s Bill of Rights” (and Hospice of Spokane)
* Hence, Tony Hancock’s remark: “What, you’ve never heard of Magna Carta? Did she die in vain?”